A Sashless Belt; New Horizons

This past Saturday, February 4, 2012, at approximately 6:00 p.m., I became a retired member of the fleet of the Rogues of Colorado.  I will admit to a remaining sense of shell-shocked-ness, still, as it has not quite sunk in all the way yet.  Once my name goes black, on the forums, I’m sure it will.

I petitioned for an early retirement from the organization because I am getting ready to really, really pursue our Southward move.  I have this oddly structured emotional brain:  I can’t open a bunch of new doors without closing a couple of current doors first.  So, my petition was approved, and I served in one last duty for the meet and greet that afternoon, before handing my sash over to my Captain Madam.

Final duties.  Complete with berries!

After we got everything tidied up, I realized my belt was still sitting there.  Too lazy to shuffle across the icy parking lot to put it in my vehicle, I simply put the belt back on.

Sashless.  It felt strange, but it also felt far more light and easy to carry.

There were some zipping emotions that evening, but it was also a good time.  It’s always a good time, when you have your nearest and dearest (or, most of them) around you.  It was funny though, the “goodbyes” I received from some quarters.  I had to keep reminding folks that I was just retiring from active membership from the group.  I’m still here.  I’m not going anywhere yet.  For now.  Some of these pirates, I will never, ever disappear from.  No matter the distance, or where the seas take us.

When we got home, J and I piled on the couch with our dog.  And then we were a crew of three.  Captain, First Mate, and the Quatah-dawg.  That suits me just fine, aye aye.

Exceedingly early the next morning, J found himself wide awake with no good cause, and could not get back to sleep.  So, he did our taxes.  And they’ve been approved.  And the estimated return time is sometime next week.  That moving fund that we started in 2008 is now complete.  That feels unreal, and shellshocky, too.

Over the course of the next couple of days, I will be wrapping up some currently-remaining projects that are on my plate from the Avistrum side, and then the job-hunt begins.  I am at once exhilarated, and absolutely terrified.  This thing is becoming incredibly real, now.

I’ll update on how the job hunt  and pending moving-prep goes.  In a way, I’m hoping that it all goes quickly.  A ripping-off-of-the-goodbye-bandaid, as it were, because all of these prolonged farewells can feel tragic sometimes.

In the meantime, though, I will be spending the day updating the how-to-do-my-job binder here at work.  And then I will go home to the mundanity of laundry.  This weekend, I want to recommence the Purging of Stuff.  Because packing has begun to feel WAY too close, now, to want to look at all this Stuff we don’t use.

Big breaths.  Exhilarated.  Terrified.  Kinda Sad.  Ridiculously Excited.

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Suddenly Incredibly Real = Momentary Panicsad Scarlett

    I know you are going, I know it’s best for you. I’m glad for you. I am not a fan of this ‘bringing it home’ post. Not so much, no.

    Steadied from the remembrance that you are always a keyboard/text away, I am more settled and have high hopes and golden wishes for you and J (*chuckle* and the Quatah-dawg).

    All will be well. Better than well, it will be wonderful, and I couldn’t ask for much more than that for you.
    You two are leaving responsibilities and commitments to circumstances and places, not friendships, not bonds, not people, you will carry those with you always, everywhere you go, all of your life.

    Best, always.

    Scarlett

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